I Solemnly Swear that I am Up to No Good: Private Message to Neville Longbottom

[alt_evelyn]

I can't get to sleep, Pete. I've been trying, but I just can't.

I've got my meeting tomorrow. And I know we've already talked about it, but I keep going through in my head how it'll go, and I keep thinking he'll see right through me and just know everything. Or I'll get so nervous that I'll clam up and not say anything at all. Which would be bad.

And we might have the boggart in Defence tomorrow. I'm pretty sure about it, at least. There was a rumour. I'm just nervous, I guess. I know we practised this summer, with mum and dad, and I got it then. I just wish I didn't have both things on the same exact day is all.

Hermione Granger liked her present, though. So there's something I can be glad for.

Comments

[alt_neville]

It'll be okay, Lindy, I promise. If it helps, from everything I've heard, Professor Dolohov is bending over backwards as hard as he can to make sure he doesn't scare anybody. I mean, it wouldn't do HIM a bit of good if he comes across mad like the Carrows so everyone goes scarpering off, frightened of his shadow, would it?

Remember what Dad says: stick the truth as much as you can, and you don't have to worry about being tripped over telling lies. He's gonna expect you to be nervous. It might even be good to admit it.

As for the boggart, same thing. Everyone else is going to be nervous, too, but YOU'VE got an advantage. You've actually faced one before.

I'm sorry that you might have to do both on the same day. That...well, as Parkinson would put it, that blows chunks.

(Don't tell Gran I said so!)

[alt_evelyn]

Shan't.

And yes, it does.

I suppose that makes sense, that he expects everyone to be nervous and all, but I also know that I ought to be, especially after what mum and dad said, and Sirius Black too. Even if he is trying not to look scary, I know he actually is. Or at least he can be.

I think I'm thinking too much about all of it.

[alt_neville]

I'm not gonna tell you NOT to think. That would be lunacy. But I suppose the opposite trap to fall into would be to overthink.

If you get flustered, fall back on that occlumency exercise I taught: count your breaths.

(Huh, the ironic thing is, if he notices what you're doing he'd approve of it. And he'd tell you it's a Noble Arts exercise. I ran across it in the textbook.)

[alt_evelyn]

Is it really? I thought dad told you to study it. He wouldn't if it was, would he?

I'd really rather he not think I was trying to hide things. I think I'll just say I'm nervous at the start, and that way if I get all weird, he'll be expecting it.

[alt_neville]

I don't think occlumency is dark, no. It's sort of like a shielding spell, in my mind. But I do think legilimancy usually is, if it's using your will to override someone else's, violating a boundary. Sort of like the imperius curse.

Anyway, controlling the breath is important in all sorts of things, especially stuff that takes concentration, like singing or exercise. Stands to reason it would be part of the foundation of learning occlumency, as well as all this Dark Arts stuff.

Anyhow. Like I said, keep it simple.

I was right nervous when I went in. But it turned out a lot easier than I was afraid it would be. Let me know how it goes, okay?

[alt_evelyn]

Okay.

[alt_evelyn]

The boggart went well. I got your broken wand to turn into one of the rubber chicken ones very quickly, and boggart you looked so surprised that everyone laughed. It was still so weird to see you as a boggart.

No-one's asked yet why that's my boggart, but other people had really weird ones, so I don't think it stuck out. Shelly Iskanderian's was an enormous bloody eyeball, and she was so scared of it she couldn't think of a way to make it funny. It was really gross.

[alt_neville]

An eyeball?

Yeah, that's really weird.

[alt_neville]

And I'm glad it went well.

What about Professor Dolohov?

[alt_evelyn]

That's at half past six. So less than an hour. I was going to go there after I ate something.

Could you walk me to his office?

I think I'd like that.

[alt_neville]

Of course, Lindy.